Two years gone by

It’s hard to believe today marks the 2nd anniversary that mom left us.

I’ve gotten texts and emails from friends and family checking in on me and I must say I am doing OK. Really. And actually feeling a little guilty about it. For those of us grieving I think once we are able to accept our new normal, there’s a little bit of guilt that about not being more mournful of our loss. I know I am conflicted with this feeling. And I know this is not unusual. But what this tells me is that I am recovering – recovering from close to two years of intense grief.

As I wrote in my last post, the fact that I haven’t felt the need to visit my blog as often tells me I am on the road to recovery. That I am learning how to live my life without mom being humanly and physically here. But she is with me in so many other ways – the clothes of hers that I wear, photographs of her, her furniture, the scent of her bath lotion. And each of those is a warm reminder of her.

I spoke with my remarkable T. last night and at 99, how remarkable he is. His continuous love for mom is beyond words. And as I always do after I speak with him, I teared up.

Yes, I survived my daughter’s wedding seven months after losing mom, and survived my son’s, too, a year later. And now as the great-grandchild that mom so passionately wanted is only weeks away, I will survive that miracle of life without mom, too, but will miss her all that more more, just the same. I love you mom, today and forever.mom flowers

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2 thoughts on “Two years gone by

  1. Sometimes it’s hard to believe how much has happened since our loved one left us. For me, the last 5 years have been filled with ups and downs, reminders, and healing. It took me a long time to heal from my mom’s illness and death. Each day I try to take steps forward, although there are times when I am taken into the past once again. I’ve learned to accept these “set-backs” and grieve for as long as it takes, but then continue to move forward. I wish you all the best.

  2. Thank you, Kathy. Seems just like yesterday and an eternity at the same time. You have always had an uncanny ability to tap into what I’m feeling. Wishing you the best, too, as we both continue on our healing journey, and what a journey it is. Best always.

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