Not quite there yet

Today marks 10 months since mom’s passing. In the cycle of yearly events, this month also marks the final family holiday without mom. It’s so hard to believe I have been without her this long. And it hurts.

I’m not at that place yet when I can think of her with beautiful and happy memories. I know I will eventually get there. I read that I will and I’m told that I will, and I look forward to that day. But right now, thoughts of mom just remind me of my loss.

Mom, I miss and love you so much.

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4 thoughts on “Not quite there yet

  1. I’m so sorry for your loss. I will share with you something a good friend told me recently: You have permission to grieve every single day for the rest of your life if you want or need to.

    Your loss is so new, and right there at the surface. Please don’t feel bad for not being there. Give yourself all the time you need, and know that it ebbs and flows. At least in my experience.

    Virtual hug.

    • Thank you for your hug, support and comments, Loni. I know everyone grieves differently and at their own pace, and I know this is going to be a long process for me. It definitely ebbs and flows.

  2. My mom has been gone for 4 years. I just celebrated my fifth Thanksgiving without her and will celebrate my fifth Christmas without her. I still miss her. I will always miss my mom. Loni is right, you have permission to grieve the loss of your mom for as long as you want to. It took me several years before I could remember my mom with true happiness, but the loss will always be there. I know this is a difficult time for your right now. I hope things get easier. I wish you peace.

  3. Thanks, Kathy. I have a feeling it’s going to take me a long time like you to remember her with happiness. I know I’m still in the early stages of my grief but it can be simply exhausting. I do gain comfort in channeling her by finishing the cross-stitch tablecloth she started and wearing some of her clothes. I appreciate your comforting words.

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