A Mother’s Day First, A Mother’s Day Gift

Today was a Mother’s Day first — the first without mom.

It was a day I was not looking forward to but my family and friends managed to make it a special one.

We had brunch in Dallas and D. was in from Houston. My brother thoughtfully called to check in on me and a best friend from high school, with whom I’ve reconnected with via Facebook, sent me a thoughtful message about this being my first Mother’s Day without mom; she lost hers 17 years ago. My great kids got me a new tech toy – an iPad.

We also had a funeral to go to, but it gave me a chance to be with mom, who I was going to visit anyway. It’s was strange looking down at her grave but I also felt a little at peace. The rabbi came over and said a prayer.

I continue to miss mom everyday but I’m really trying to move on. I know how angry she would be if she knew how her passing has affected me.

So mom, my Mother’s Day gift to you is to continue to move forward in the healing process, but please allow me the time. Your absence is not easy to get over that quickly.

Happy Mother’s Day. I love you.

Mother’s Day 2011

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2 thoughts on “A Mother’s Day First, A Mother’s Day Gift

  1. I’m so sorry about the loss of your mom. I just celebrated my fourth Mother’s Day without my mom. I still miss her. I think about her every day in some way. I lost my mom on November 16, 2008, to pancreatic cancer and have spent every day since grieving her loss in some way. It does get better, easier, but the loss is always there. It’s like a hole in my life, my heart, that no one else can fill. Your comment about your mom being angry really hit home with me. I know my mom wouldn’t want me to be in pain, to still be grieving or missing her, but I also know she understands. I started my blog as a way of expressing my feelings, then healing, and I hope to help others who have lost parents or loved ones as well. I wish you the best in your journey of healing. Know that you are not alone. Take care, Kathy

    • Thank you, Kathy. I know I am not alone in my situation but it is so comforting to hear from others in the same place. And that was the purpose of my blog in the first place – to share feelings in the hopes of helping others going through the same thing as me and myself learning from others. It certainly is a journey of ongoing healing. Best to you, Jane

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